Sometimes, when people find that I choose gowns — that, in fact, I spend an inordinate amount of time believing about gowns — they are immediately suspicious. “What do you have against pants?” they ask. “Do you dislike pants?”
“No,” I reply, in a calm, even voice. “I don’t dislike pants. I wear pants a lot. I just choose skirts as well as dresses, that’s all.”
They frequently don’t believe me, in the exact same method that some vegans secretly believe that people who eat meat should not like tofu. They won’t believe a preference for one thing doesn’t immediately result in a hatred for the opposite. They believe that a liking for Dr. Pepper signals an anti-Mr. Pibb program or potentially vendetta; that a fondness for the color blue implies you secretly dislike orange.
You understand what? Those doubters may be right, since last night I practically started to dislike pants.
Check out this very first pair:
OMG the fug! The dropped waist! The pindots! The pegged legs! The horror!
But then, I saw these.At first, I only saw the polka dots–I was intrigued! I reached out! then I really — as well as I have a see — shrieked in dismay. Nobody, however nobody, ought to wear polka-dot leggings. There oughta be a law. In fact, the manufacture, distribution, or sale of polka-dot leggings ought to be unlawful in the 48 contiguous states, as well as extremely restricted, at the extremely least, in Hawaii, Alaska, Puerto Rico, as well as Guam.
But oh, the Day of pants horror (or, as it is likewise styled, El Dia de Pantalones de Terror) continued with these white monstrosities:
Now, if that a person isn’t sufficient to make you autumn to your knees as well as beg your gowns for forgiveness, I don’t understand what would.
So. My belief in my open-mindedness in regard to pants-wearing (of the literal, not metaphorical kind) has been shaken by seeing three pants of the end Times in one day. That’s gotta be a sign, as well as not a great one. If I see dead birds tomorrow, or there’s an eclipse, or great deals of people in acid-washed denim bustier sundresses, I’ll understand it’s around as well as I’ll make my plans for the eschaton. In fact, those plans will most likely include a new gown …
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